I Would Never (have Sex With You) Uke tab by Garfunkel And Oates

F
Remember the time we went out to dinner
You and I alone
              Ddim
We ate some French fries
              F
Let's do it again

Remember the time we went to the movies
Laughed so hard we cried
                        Ddim
And then we ate more French fries
              F
Let's do it again

 Ddim  (pause)                 F
'Cause I really like you as a friend
 Ddim  (pause)                 F
But there are things I can't pretend
 Ddim  (pause)                 F
Know I would love you 'til the end

  C |-0---0---0---0---0--0--|   
  G |-1---2---4---5---4--2--| Am  

But there is just one problem (problem, problem)

E7                 F
I would never have sex with you
E7                             F
Believe me, you'd know it if I wanted to
E7                             F
I already would have shown my boobs to you

  C |-0---0---0---0---0--0--|  
  G |-1---2---4---5---4--2--| Am  

But that will never happen

F
Remember the time we stayed up all night talking
Let our secrets out 
           Ddim
Until the sunshine
            F
Let's do it again

Remember the time we went to Dave and Busters
Dance dance revolutioned
              Ddim
'Til we won a keychain
            F
Let's do it again

Ddim                       F
This shouldn't come as a surprise
Ddim                        F
You should've seen it in my eyes
Ddim                    F
I kinda like some other guy

  C |-0---0---0---0---0--0--|  
  G |-1---2---4---5---4--2--| Am  

But there's a bigger problem

E7                 F
I would never have sex with you
E7                             F
Believe me, you'd know it if I wanted to
E7                         F
I already would have gone down on you (Kate: You would have liked it!)

  C |-0---0---0---0---0--0--|  
  G |-1---2---4---5---4--2--| Am  

But that will never happen


E |-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-----000--|
C |-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-----000--|
G |-2-2-2-2-1-1-1-1-0-0-0-0-1-----111--|

No amount of alcohol
Could change my mind at all

E |-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-|
C |-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-|  E7
G |-2-2-2-2-1-1-1-1-0-0-0-0-|("bye") 

Our lips will never touch
So kiss that thought goodbye

E7                 F
I would never have sex with you
E7                            F
Believe me you'd know it if I wanted to
E7                         F  (pause)
I already would have held hands with you

  C |-0---0---0---0---0--0--| 
  G |-1---2---4---5---4--2--| Am   

But that will never happen