Lower Your Expectations Uke tab by Bo Burnham

E
You want a guy that's sweet
C#m
A guy that's tough
C#m
A feminist who likes to pay for stuff
A
The kinda guy that gets along with your friends
B
Without being attracted to any of them
E
A good boy, a bad boy, a good bad boy
C#m
A half good half bad half boy
A
Loves your brother sensitive but not weak and
B
Is a great lover calls your mother on the weekend
E                       A                               C#m                     
Then you might think that this guy only exists in your mind

Well guess what
B
You're right

[Chorus]
E
If you want love
C#m
Lower your expectations a few
A                                       B
Cause Prince Charming would never settle for you
E
If you want love
C#m
Just pick a guy and love him
A
And if he's got a thing for feet
B
Say fuck it, sweep me off them

[Verse]
E
You want a girl that's nice
C#m
A girl that's not
C#m
Obsessed with her looks but is insanely hot
A
The kinda girl that you can show to your folks
B
Loves the movies that you like and always laughs at your jokes
E
A real girl, a hot girl, a really hot girl
C#m
A brand new really hot real doll
A
Wants to impress you doesn't care if you notice
B
And only ever uses you to tickle her throat with

E                               A                       C#m
Then you might think that this girl only exists in your mind
B
She's real
But last week
She died

[Chorus]
E
If you want love
C#m
Lower your expectations a lot
A                                               B
You might think your dick is a gift I promise it's not
E
If you want love

C#m
Just pick a girl and love her
A
Then whip out your dick and let the
B
Girl you love decline the offer

E
I don't want a neat freak I don't want a slob
C#m
Or somebody with bedhead and a dead-end job
A
Cause I won't settle for less
B
Than perfect
E
Want perfect children, a perfect life
C#m
Perfect husband or a perfect wife
A
But deep down I know
B
I don't deserve it

[Mute]
But

E
We all deserve love
C#m
Even on the days when we aren't our best
A                       
Cause we all suck 
B
But love can make us suck less
E
We all deserve love
C#m
It's the very best part of being alive
A
And I would know
B
I'm almost twenty five