Love Is... Uke tab by Bo Burnham (Baritone Chords)

G - G7 - C - D

G                  G7                      C                D
  I love you like kings love queens, like a gay geneticist loves designer genes
G                     G7                           C                 D
  I need you like New Orleans needs a drought, like Hitler's father needed to learn to pull out
G               G7              C             D
  And I want you, yeah, like a lawyer/mathematician wants some kind of proof
G               G7           C   D C D                      G
  And I want you, yeah, like JFK wanted a car with a roof...


         G         C                      Em                             D
  Because love is taking that dive, then getting really comfortable and peeing in the pool
     G           C               Em                       D
  And love is a real life porn, minus all the stuff that makes porn cool
     G           C            Em                            D
  And love is a homeless guy searching for treasure in the middle of the rain
     G           C                      Em                            D
  And finding a bag of gold coins and slowly finding out they're all filled with chocolate
     G                  C                Em                            D
  And even though he's heart broken, he can't complain because he was hungry in the first place...


G - G7 - C - D


         G                 G7                      C               D
  Because I love you like Dora loves maps, like the Pope's toilet loves "holy craps"
G                    G7                          C                          D                       
  I need you like a voyeur needs a branch, like boys tossing salad needs a little bit of Neverland
  G      G7
 Ranch...
                                      C                                 D                   G
  And I want you, yeah, like all the gothic kids that look exactly the same, never want to conform
G7                     C         D C D   N/C                              G
  And I want you like Anne Frank wanted nobody to read her fucking diary!

  G
 "Because a diary is a collection of secret things that nobody's supposed to read,
  that's the whole point of a diary. Millions of people that have breached this little girls privacy
  after she was chased by Nazis - kick her while she's down..."


G7                       C          D
  And if we met in ten thousand BC, I was your caveman, you's my cavelady...
     G                                   G7
  If we got hot - we'd start rubbin', if we got hungry - we'd go clubbin'
C                                        D
  There's wooly mammoths, but I will protect us - you're making me devolve to a Homo Erectus
C                        D
  And if we met in 1780, I would be a white southern aristocratic plantation owner

  and you were my dark-skinned servant lady... (slave)


G                                              G7
  Whenever I could get away from the Missus, I go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses
C                                           D
  But let's be serious, I'd still work you full-time as a slave

  There's a difference between romantic language and complete disregard for socio economic trends...
C                 D
  If it was 1941, I was a Nazi, you's a Gypsy on the run - that's a little redundant
      G           G7                        C      D
  That probably wouldn't have worked out...


C    D   G              C                Em                D
  Because love is your favorite food for every breakfast, lunch and dinner
     G             C                  Em                      D
  And love is the Holocaust - if you don't die quick and you don't get thinner
     G         C                    Em             D
  And love is being the owner of the company that makes rape whistles
     G                  C                       Em                        D
  And even though you started the company with good intentions trying to reduce the rate of rape,
G                        C                               Em
  now you don't want to reduce it at all, 'cause if the rape rate declines
     D                             G             G7
  you'll see an equal decline in whistle sales...
C                    D                    G         G7
  Without rapists, who's gonna buy your whistles?
C        D                     G
  Yeah, love is all about... whistles