No One Remembers Achmed Uke tab by Team Starkid

Soldiers: (Alternating)
          F     
In your homeland you're a legend
         C
All the people know your name
        Bb                            F
On the battlefield and off you are superior


Achmed:
(Spoken) I know.
        Gm
In the kingdom though I'm finding
         C
that my only claim to fame
       Bb                      C
is an incident involving my posterior


Soldiers:
F  C
Posterior


Achmed:
(Spoken) Please.


          F
I've won scores of bloody wars
                A
And mopped the floors with my foes 
    Bb                F
But no one remembers Achmed
        Bb
I've eviscerated peasants
             Gm
From their heads down to their toes
    G                C
But no one remembers Achmed


        Dm
Say my name in these parts
           Gm
And you'll get a vacant stare
   G
Until you mention tigers
     C
Or spotted underwear


Soldiers:
F  C
  Spotted underwear


Achmed:
   C   F          
So to restore my repute 
      A
As a fierce fearsome brute,
       Eb                     D7
There's only one route I see
             Gm               C7
Arrange the slaughter of millions
     F       Gm / G
Of innocent civilians
C                            F
Then they'll remember me


(Dialogue)


Soldiers: (Alternating)   (Achmed:)
          F
Caked in mud or drenched in blood
               A
You smell as fresh as a flower
((Spoken) I guess.)
    Bb                F
But no one remembers Achmed
           Bb
You can pleasure sixty concubines
    Gm
In only an hour
((Spoken) Less!)
    Bb                F          C
But no one remembers Achmed


Achmed:
      Dm
Back home I was a hero
         Gm
Ladies trembled when I spoke
     G
But here the women treat me
         C
Like a throwaway joke


Soldiers:
C
Throw him away


Achmed:
       F
I'm a god on Earth but darn it
      A
Even deities incarnate
         Eb                     D
Now and then can feel a little insecure


Soldiers:
Insecure


Achmed:
Gm Em7
All I want is some affection
        A7
This rejection's almost
                      D           G
Too much to endure...


Soldiers:
To endure
Look at all he must endure


(Dialogue)


Soldiers:
          F
You ooze sex when you flex
          A
Those impeccable pecs


Achemd:
          Dm                  D
But the princess rejects me still
        Gm
She may not love me yet
        Bb
But I'm willing to bet
             G                       C
That once I kill all her people she will...


Soldiers:
Yes she will
Yes she absolutely will


Achmed:
          Dm
Let them laugh, that's just fine
         F
But the last laugh will be mine


All:
             Bb                          E7
'Cause they can't laugh when they're all dead
Gm                     C
I'll make them all regret
              F          Bb
The day they chose to forget


Achmed:
                      D7
(Spoken) What's that name everyone?


Soldiers:
Tiger-fucker!


Achmed:
(Spoken) No!

         F                 D
Like I said, what's that name?


Soldiers:
           Gm            C
You're the cock of the walk
            Am          D
With abs as hard as a rock
     Gm              C           F
Nevermore will they mock you Achmed


Soldier:
D           G          C
He fucked a tiger


Achmed:
(Spoken) I did not fuck a tiger!


Soldiers:
                  F     A     Dm    C
They'll remember Achmed...
                  F     A     Dm    C
They'll remember Achmed...
                  F     A     D    F
They'll remember Achmed...


Achmed:
They'll remember me...


Soldiers:
F
Tiger fucker
Tiger fucker
Achmed is a tiger fucker!
C                 F
They'll remember Achmed
     G                 F
The tiger fucking man!