3 Balloons Uke tab by Stephen Lynch

Bm                               G
I call you from my car to say I'll be there in a while
    D                                 A                     
A short plane ride and I will get to see your pretty smile
           Bm                      G
There's nothing on the radio, I fiddle with the dial.
       D                               A                 
And then I see a sign; the airport's just another mile
  
   Bm                G              D              A
I check my bags and think about how much I hate to fly
   Bm           G         D               A
And as I near security, I almost start to cry...

    D              G                A
Well, I hope the Law Enforcement Agents can't tell from my face
   D               G            A                Asus2
I got three balloons of coke in an uncomfortable place
   D               G              A
I'm sweating and I'm nervous, and I need a little air
      D                G                      A                   A7
'Cause with four balloons of heroine, it's getting crowded up in there...
A               D
Crowded up in there...

 
 D         D/F       Gsus2     Asus4  A

 Bm                           G
My mind is all a-jumble and my blood is cold as ice
    D                               A
I dread the thought of having to unload this merchandise
     Bm                                  G
"Relax", I think, "It's not so bad; it might feel kind of nice"
    D                             A
"Besides, who hasn't had a finger up there maybe once or twice?"
     Bm             G                D               A
I must remember, don't leave any drugs inside the host
     Bm                  G                  D         A
I did that once and a girl who tossed my salad overdosed

    D             G              A
Well, I say a little prayer, "Hail Maria Full of Grace!"
 D               G            A
I got three balloons of coke in an uncomfortable place
 D               G              A
I'm sweating and I'm nervous, and I need a little air
 D                G               A                 A7
And I swear I’m farting lines of blow into my underwear...
A              D
From the darriere...
    BM                      G  
I was a little eager when I loaded up my stash
      D                  A
5 balloons of ecstasy and 6 balloons of hash
      BM               G
8 balloons of LSD and 9 of sensimilla
       D                 A
A box of Chinese fireworks Guatemalan child
     BM      G                   D           A
I made it to the gate now and my joy I can't contain
   BM                G                   D               A
I board the aircraft take my seat in the cockpit of the plane
   D                G             A
As I taxi down the runway I get a smile on my face
         D             G           A
I've got 3 balloons of coke in an uncomfortable place
         D             G           A
Flight crew prepare for take off as I lift us into air
        D              G            A             A7
And by the way does anyone want to buy Guatemalan child
      A    D
From my derriere
    G      D
I've got 3 balloons
    A      D
Mmm I've got 3 balloons
    G       D
Mmm I've got 3 balloons