P* Star Tits Uke tab by Eliza McLamb

[Verse 1]
           C
When I was ten years old, a man on the internet
F
Told me I had porn star tits
  Dm
I didn't know what that meant
      G
But I knew he was getting off on it
     C
So I wore a bikini top under my v-neck
F
Went to the  mall to try  on some makeup
Dm                                         G
Walked into GameStop looking for attention
                                Dm
But all I got was condescension
 
In seventh grade, I figured out
        Dm
That my porn star tits are pretty powerful
     C                                  F
They make boys be nice to me for a week
          C
Then they trade that shit like Pokemon cards
    F
Swapping my body with somebody else's
       Dm
That's metrically hotter than mine
           G                               C
How can I, a seven, compete with all these nines?
                               C
Dude, she thinks she's a seven
 
Well, I guess I could steal their boyfriends
     F
Or I guess I could go to church
         Dm                                G                    C
I either play the whore or Madonna and I'm not sure which one's worse
 
[Interlude]
 
[Verse 2]
C
Bought a pack of Marlboro Reds
         F
'Cause I saw on Tumblr that's a pretty girl cigarette
  Dm
Smoked one thinking it made me look cool
       G                                              C
Then I threw it all up in the girls' bathroom at school
                       F
And on the weekends, I show up to parties that I'm not invited to
Dm
Out of spite, I have a good attitude
G                                C
Dance all night 'til I end up in someone's room
          C
I say, "I like the way you talk to me"
            F
He says, "I like the way you look at me
     Dm
Hey, by the way, if we sleep together
  G                              C
Tomorrow I'll act like I don't remember"
Dm
And that's when it dawned on me
 
That my porn star tits are pretty good currency
    C                             Dm
For mediocre sex and a feeling of total fucking emptiness
        Dm
I mean, didn't I ask for it a little bit
Dm
In some strange way, I kinda like it
     C                                  Dm                            Dm
That voice in my head telling me, "Good girl, it's working, isn't it"
 
Isn't it? Fuck
 
[Outro]
     C                                F
If I have to feel so disembodied, the body better be bangin'
           Dm
It's gotta be the type to get me a few likes
   G                             C
On Instagram and a DM that says "slut"