Straight Hey Bitch Uke tab by Amanda Palmer

Dm                 C
There is a boy in a band 
                       Dm
who is friends with my ex-boyfriends
                    C
high school friend, Christian
            Dm         C
A very nice gentleman.
Dm            
He seems to know me
    C
but I can't remember him
Em      
good god forgive me,
    C                F   C
I'm out of my element

      C                     Em
And I can't seem to them all straight
         C                    G
I've forgotten which people I like
                   D
and which people I hate and I'm waiting
    C                      Em
for someone to shake me and say:
Em               C           Em
Hey bitch, your wish is my command.
Em             C         
Just smile and nod we'll under
F                      C
Standing infront of the sink 
                     F
I believe I've been tricked 
                  C                     F        C
into thinking I'm sick when I'm actually generous.

F                   C
No use expecting the worst
                      F
let the thing run its course
                        C
and in time you'll look back thinking
         F         C
God, how hilarious!

      C                          Em
And I can't seem to keep them all straight.
      C                           G
I've forgotten which ones I should skip
                        D
and which ones I should take and I'm waiting
    C                      Em
for someone to shake me and say:
Em               C
Hey bitch! Don't quit
              Em
You're almost there.
             C               F
Dont give up now make friends instead
         C           F              C
of going out go home instead of going down
           Em
go back to bed



F                    C
There is a man on the phone
                    F
Who's convinced I'm alone
             C         
And I try to convince the poor guy 
          F             C
that it's way too late.
F
He seems to like me 
      C                    Em
but I can't relate I would like to get closer
     C                            F    C
But Christ all the time it takes.

      C                        Em
And I can't seem to keep myself straight
     C                          G
I've forgotten which feelings to show
                      D  
and which feelings to fake and I'm waiting
    C                      Em
for someone to shake me and say:
Em              C
HEY BITCH! Nice tits!
                 Em
You're broke but then 
               C
you're rich in love.
                F
You're great in bed!
                C
You'll see the world 
                 F
You'll knock 'em dead.
            C                      F
And all the thick books that you've read
               C             Em            F
will count for nothing in the end.