Amanda Palmer Uke tab by (empty) (Baritone Chords)

INTRO
F F7 A#sus2 C7sus4 C7 x2
VERSE 1
F F7
Sid Vicious played a four-string Fender bass guitar and couldn't sing
A#sus2 C7sus4 C7
And everybody hated him except the ones who loved him
F F7
A ukulele has four strings, but Sid did not play ukulele
A#sus2 C7sus4 C7
He did smack and probably killed his girlfriend Nancy Spungen
VERSE 2
F F7
If only Sid had had a ukulele, maybe he could have been happy
A#sus2 C7sus4 C7
Maybe he would not have suffered such a sad end
F F7
He maybe would have not done all that heroin instead
A#sus2 C7sus4 C7
He maybe would've sat around just singing nice songs to his girlfriend
CHORUS
F F7
So play your favorite cover song, especially if the words are wrong
A#sus2 C7sus4 C7
Cos even if your grades are bad, it doesn't mean you're failing
F F7
Do your homework with a fork and eat your fruit loops in the dark
A#sus2 C7sus4 C7
And bring your etch-a-sketch to work and play your ukulele

BRIDGE
A#sus2 C7
Ukulele small and forceful, ukulele, brave and peaceful
F A#sus2
You can play the ukulele too it is painfully simple
A#sus2 C7
Play your ukulele badly, play your ukulele loudly
D#6
Ukulele banish evil, ukulele save the people,
Ukulele gleaming golden on the top of every steeple
VERSE 3
F F7
Lizzie borden took an axe, and gave her mother forty whacks
A#sus2 C7sus4 C7
Then gave her father forty-one, and left a tragic puzzle
F F7
If only they had given her an instrument, those puritans
A#sus2 C7sus4 C7
Had lost the plot completely, see what happens when you muzzle
VERSE 4
F F7
A person's creativity and do not let them sing and scream
A#sus2 C7sus4 C7
And nowadays it's worse 'cause kids have automatic handguns
F F7
It takes about an hour to teach someone to play the ukulele
A#sus2 C7sus4 C7
About same to teach someone to build a standard pipe bomb you do the math(s)
CHORUS
BRIDGE
A#sus2 C7
Ukulele, thing of wonder, ukulele, wand of thunder
F A#sus2
You can play the ukulele too in London and down under
A#sus2 C7
Play Joan Jett, and play Jacques Brel and Eminem and Neutral Milk Ho-
D#6
Tell the children crush the hatred, play your ukulele naked
If anybody tries to steal your ukulele, let them take it

VERSE 5
F F7
Imagine there's no music, imagine there are no songs
A#sus2 C7sus4 C7
Imagine that John Lennon wasn't shot in front of his apartment
F F7 A#sus2
Now imagine if John Lennon had composed “Imagine” for the ukulele
C7sus4 C7
Maybe people would have truly got the message
VERSE 6
F F7
You may think my approach is simple-minded and naïve
A#sus2 C7sus4 C7
Like if you want to change the world then why not quit and feed the hungry
F F7
But people for millennia have needed music to survive
A#sus2 C7sus4 C7
And that's why I've promised John that I will not feel guilty
VERSE 7
F F7
So play your favorite Beatles song and make the subway fall in love
A#sus2 C7sus4 C7
They're only $19.95, that isn't lots of money
F F7
Play until the sun comes up and play until your fingers suffer
A#sus2 C7sus4 C7
Play LCD Soundsystem songs on your ukulele
VERSE 8
F F7
Quit the bitching on your blog and stop pretending art is hard
A#sus2 C7sus4 C7
Just limit yourself to three chords and do not practice daily
F F7
You'll minimize some stranger's sadness with a piece of wood and plastic
A#sus2 C7sus4 C7
Holy fuck it's so fantastic, playing ukulele

VERSE 9
F F7
Eat your homework with a fork and do your fruit loops in the dark
A#sus2
And bring your etch-a-sketch to work, your flask of jack, your vibrator
your fear of heights, your nikon lens
VERSE 10
F F7
Your mom and dad, your disco stick, your soundtrack from “Karate Kid”
A#sus2 C7sus4 C7
Your ginsu knives, your rosary, your new Rebecca Black CD
F F7
Your favorite room, your bowie knife, your stuffed giraffe, your new glass eye
A#sus2 C7sus4 C7
Your sousaphone, your breakfast tea, your Nick Drake tapes, your giving tree
F F7
Your ice cream truck, your missing wife, your will to live, your urge to cry
A#sus2 F
Remember we're all going to die so play your ukulele