This Is Hell Uke tab by Elvis Costello

D               A          G            Em
This is hell, this is hell, I am sorry to tell you
      D               A          Em7       A
It never gets better or worse
D                   A          G          Em
But you get used to it, after a spell
           D          A      Cadd9
For heaven is hell in reverse

           G
The bruiser spun a hula hoop
                  D/A
As all the barmen preen and pout
          G
The neon "I" of "night club" flickers
D/A                                   C
On an off and finally blew out
                             Am                                         C
The irritating jingle of the belly dancing phoney turkish girl
                                 Am
The eerie glare of ultraviolet perfect dental work

D          A          G          Em
This is hell, I am sorry to tell you
      D               A          Em7       A
It never gets better or worse
D                   A          G          Em
But you get used to it, after a spell
           D          A      Cadd9
For heaven is hell in reverse

          G
The failed Don Juan in the big bow-tie
            D/A
Is very sorry that he spoke
          G
For he?s mislaid his punchline more than
D/A                                              C
Halfway through a very tasteless joke
                                                     Am
The Fr?ulein caught him peeking down her gown
                              C
He?s yelling in her ear
                                           Am
And all at once the music stopped
                                       A
As he was intimately bellowing "My dear..."

            D               A          G          Em
This is hell, this is hell, I am sorry to tell you
      D               A          Em7       A
It never gets better or worse
D                   A          G          Em
But you get used to it, after a spell
           D          A      Cadd9
For heaven is hell in reverse

       Dm                             G
The shirt you wore with courage
                 C               F
And the violent nylon suit
     Dm                        G
Reappear upon your back
              C                             F
And undermine the polished line
                  Dm                         G
You try to shoot, it?s not the torment
               C                      F                        D
Of the flames that finally see your flesh corrupted
                                                                          G
It's the small humiliation that your memory piles up
          Em7             D
This is hell, this is hell

            G                                  D
"My favourite thing" is playing again an again
       G                                      D
But it's by Julie Andrews and not by John Coltrane
      G                                       D
Endless balmy breezes and perfect sunsets framed
     G                                           D                                        C
Vintage wine for breakfast and naked starlets floating in Champagne
                                      Am
All the passions of your youth
                                  C
Are tranquilised and tamed
                                     Am
You may think it looks familiar
                                       A
Though you may know it by another name

            D               A          G          Em
This is hell, this is hell, I am sorry to tell you
      D               A          Em7       A
It never gets better or worse
D                   A          G          Em
But you get used to it, after a spell
           D          A      Cadd9
For heaven is hell in reverse
                              D
This is hell, this is hell.
G