SPOKEN: [C] I was takin' a trip out to L.A. [F] Toolin' along in my Chevrolet [G7] Tokin' on a number and diggin' on the radi-[C] o ... [C] Just as I crossed the Mississippi line [F] I heard that highway start to whine [G7] And I knew that left rear tire was about to [C] go.
[C] Well, the spare was flat and I got uptight [F] 'Cause there wasn't a fillin' station in sight [G7] So I just limped on down the shoulder on the (C) rim [C] I went as far as I could and when I stopped the car [F] It was right in front of this little bar [G7] Kind of redneck lookin' joint, called the Dew Drop (C) Inn.
[C] Well, I stuffed my hair up under my hat [F] And told the bartender that I had a flat [G7] And would he be kind enough to give me change for a (C) one [C] There was one thing I was sure proud to see [F] There wasn't a soul in the place, 'cept for him and me [G7] And he just looked disgusted and pointed toward the tele(C)phone.
[C] I called up the station down the road a ways [F] And he said he wasn't very busy today [G7] And he could have somebody there in just 'bout ten minutes or (C)so [C] He said now you just stay right where you're at [F] And I didn't bother tellin' the durn fool [G7] I sure as hell didn't have anyplace else to (C) go.
[C] I just ordered up a beer and sat down at the bar [F] When some guy walked in and said; "Who owns this car? [G7] With the peace sign, the mag wheels and four on the (C) floor?" [C] Well, he looked at me and I damn near died [F] And I decided that I'd just wait outside [G7] So I layed a dollar on the bar and headed for the (C) door.
[C] Just when I thought I'd get outta there with my skin [F] These five big dudes come strollin' in [G7] With this one old drunk chick and some fella with green (C) teeth [C] And I was almost to the door when the biggest one [F] Said; "You tip your hat to this lady, son." [G7] And when I did all that hair fell out from under(C)neath.
[C] Now the last thing I wanted was to get in a fight [F] In Jackson, Mississippi on a Saturday night [G7] Specially when there was three of them and only one of (C) me [C] They all started laughin' and I felt kinda sick [F] And I knew I'd better think of somethin' pretty quick. [G7] So I just reached out and kicked old green-teeth right in the kn(C)ee.
[C] He let out a yell that'd curl your hair [F] But before he could move, I grabbed me a chair and said; [G7] "Watch him folks, 'cause he's a thoroughly dangerous (C) man." (C) Well, you may not know it, but this man's a spy. (F) He's an undercover agent for the FBI (G7) And he's been sent down here to infiltrate the Ku Klux (C) Klan."
(C) He was still bent over, holdin' on to his knee [F] but everyone else was lookin' and listenin' to me [G7] and I layed it on thicker and heavier as I (C) went. [C] I said; "Would you believe this man has gone as far [F] as tearin' Wallace stickers off the bumpers of cars [G7] And he voted for George McGovern for Pres(C)ident."
[C] "He's a friend of them long-haired, hippie type, pinko fags [F] I betcha he's even got a Commie flag [G7] Tacked up on the wall, inside of his gar(C)age [C] He's a snake in the grass, I tell ya guys, [F] He may look dumb, but that's just a disguise [G7] He's a mastermind in the ways of espio(C)nage."
[C] They all started lookin' real suspicious at him [F] And he jumped up an' said; "Now, just wait a minute, Jim [G7] You know he's lyin' I've been livin' here all of my (C) life." [C] "I'm a faithfull follower of Brother John Birch [F] and I belong to the Antioch Baptist Church [G7] And I ain't even got a garage, you can call home and ask my (C) wife."
[C] Then he started sayin' somethin' 'bout the way I was dressed [F] But I didn't wait around to hear the rest [G7] I was too busy movin' and hopin' I didn't run outta(C) luck [C] And when I hit the ground, I was makin' tracks [F] And they were just takin' my car down off the jacks [G7] So I threw the man a twenty an' jumped in an' fired that mother (C) up.
[C] Mario Andretti woulda sure been proud [F] Of the way I was movin' when I passed that crowd [G7] Comin' out the door and headin' toward me in a (C) trot [C] And I guess I should-a gone ahead and run [F] But somehow I couldn't resist the fun [G7] Of chasin' them all just once around the parkin' (C) lot.
[C] Well, they're headin' for their car, but I hit the gas (F) And spun around and headed them off at the pass (G7) I was slingin' gravel and puttin' a ton of dust in the(C) air. (C) Well, I had 'em all out there steppin' and fetchin' (F) Like their heads were on fire and their asses was catchin' (G7) But I figured I oughta go ahead an split before the cops got (C) there.
(C) When I hit the road I was really wheelin' (F) Had gravel flyin' and rubber squeelin' (G7) And I didn't slow down 'til I was almost to Arka(C)nsas (C) Well, I think I'm gonna re-route my trip (F) I wonder if anybody'd think I'd flipped (G7) If I went to L.A. - via Omaha.
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