Hi. Tab uke di Colleen Ballinger

"hi." by Colleen Ballinger

Strumming Pattern (D = down, U = Up, X = Optional Chunk): D-XU-UXU


[Verse 1]
G (x2)

G
    Hey, it's been a while since you saw my face
G7
    I haven't been doing so great so I took a little break
C
    A lot of people are saying some things about me that aren't quite true
D7 (x1)
    It doesn't matter if it's true though, just as long as it's entertaining
G
To you

Right?

You guys having fun?


(mute)
     All aboard!
[Chorus]
    G            G7
The toxic gossip train
       C                          D7 (x1)
You're driving down the tracks of misinformation
    G            G7
The toxic gossip train
             C C C C (on beat) D7 (pause)
You've got a one-way ticket to manipulation station
G                G7
    Toxic gossip train
C                           Cm
Tie me to the tracks and harass me for my past
      G
Cause rumors look like facts
       E7
If you don't mind the gaps
           C (x1)                D7 (x1)
I won't survive in the crash but hey,
(mute)                 G
At least you're having fun

[Verse 2]
G
Uh, hi everyone
G
I've been wanting to come online and talk to you about a few things
G
Um, even though my team has stongly advised me not to say what I want to say
G                                             G (let it ring)
I recently realized that they never said I couldn't sing what I want to say, so
G
    Here I am, and, um,
G
Today I only want to talk about the facts
    G (let it ring)
So,     I hope you'll be willing to listen
(mute)
Here we go

[Verse 3]
G
    Many years ago I used to message my fans
G
    But not in a creepy way like a lot of you are trying to suggest
G
    It was more of a, loser kind of way
G
    I was just trying to be besties with everybody
G
    It was kinda of like, uh, when you go to a family gathering, you know
G
    And there's a weird aunt there,
G
    Who keeps coming up to you going like "Hey girl! What's the tea?"
G
    And you're like, uh
G                                           G (mute)
    That was me, but in group chats with my fans

    It was weird
    
[Verse 4]
G
    I've been sharing my life online for over 15 years
G7
    I've poured my heart out to you and because of that I feel like I'm
C
Talking to my friends but, in the beginning of my career
D7
    I didn't really understand that maybe there should be some boundaries there
C                        G
There were times in the DMs when I would overshare
D7                        G
    Details of life which was really weird of me
C                       G
I haven't done that for years, you see
          D7 (x1)                    G (x1)
Because I changed my behavior, and I took accountability

But that's not very interesting is it...



So lets go on the
[Chorus]
    G            G7
The toxic gossip train
    C                       D7 (x1)
The locomotives fueled with hateful accusations
 G                G7
     The toxic gossip train
C C C C (on beat)          D7 (pause)
Steamrolled over someone's    reputation
G                G7
    Toxic gossip train
       C                              Cm
Hop on board but close your eyes otherwise you'll realize
         G
That the train is made of lies
         E7
And that person you despise
           C (x1)               D7 (x1)
Maybe didn't deserve to die but hey,
(mute)                 G
At least you're having fun

[Verse 5]
G
In all seriousness I do think it's really important,
G
to hold people accountable for their mistakes
G
Um, you know, we should hope that everyone can learn from their mistakes and grow
G
And change their behavior and be a better person
G
And this is something that I've always tried to do when I make mistakes
G
And is something that I will continue to try to d- what?

Oh you don't care? Oh, okay.
G
    I thought you wanted me to take accountability
G7
    But that's not the point of your mob mentality is it? No
C
    Your goal is to ruin the life of the person you despise
D7 (let it ring)                                   G
While you dramatize your lies and monetize their demise

[Verse 6]
G
I feel like I can already hear the comments on this video
C
She's gaslighting! Manipulating!
G                                D7
Uh she's a narcissist and a rat!

I would never make a mistake like that!
G
    Oh, I'm sorry I didn't realize that all of you are perfect

So please critize me
C
Bring out the daggers made from your perfect past
D7 (let it ring)
And stab me repeatedly in my bony little back

[Verse 7]
C              G                  D7             G
I'm sure you're disappointed in my shitty little song
C                           G              D7   G
I know you wanted you me to say that I was 100%   in the wrong
         C                   G
Well I'm sorry I'm not gonna take that route
     D7                                  G
Of admitting to lies and rumors that you made up for clout

[Bridge]
G                                        G7
Hey everybody! I found someone new to harass!
                                            C
She did some things that do not like in her past!
                                                  D7
So everybody gather round 'cause we're about to attack

But not based on facts, oh no
     C                            Cm
Your loaded lethal weapon is your fingers on the keys
    G                                 E7
You don't need any armor when you can hide behind a screen
   C C C C (on beat)          D7
So shoot me down quick with a click and bam!
                 G
My reputations deceased

[Verse 8]
G
I also to take a minute about that girl Miranda Sings
G7
    You know the one, yeah her?
             C
She's PG-13, it says that on my website

And it's always been that way
    D7
And that's why you won't find my videos on the YouTube Kids app, anyway
    G
Um,     I didn't realize it was my responsibility
   D7                                 G
To decide what it was appropriate for     every kid to see
C                                      G
    I've always relied on parents to decide if they're comfortable
D7(once)                                              G
    with their families watching my YouTube videos or coming to my live shows


Now
[Verse 9]
G
    Have I made some jokes in poor taste? Yes
G7
    Have I made lots of dumb mistakes? Yes
C
    Am I sad that there are some fans who feel betrayed? Yes
D7                          (let it ring)
    But was my intention to manipulate? no.

G (keep going......)
It doesn't really matter what my intention was

Because it seems as though everyone's already decided, on that

Let me tell you it's not very fun

To have millions of people all over the world

Call you the most vile, horrendous, disgusting, life ruining words

A person can be called, in my opinion

Um, it doesn't matter that these things aren't true

Everyone just believes that you are the type of person who 
(mute)
manipulates and abuses children


So I just wanted to say that um
[Verse 10]
G                            G7
    The only thing I've ever groomed is my two Persian cats
C
    I'm not a groomer
Cm
    I'm just a loser
    G                                       G7
Who didn't understand that you shouldn't respond to fans
     C                                D7
And, I'm not a predator even though a lot of you think so
        G                    D7   D7 (x1 each)
Because 5 years ago I made a fart joke

(dramatic pause)
(breaths)

So...
[Verse 11] (strum once per chord)
C                                       G
    Even though I know this video won't change anyone's mind about me
                                
I still felt it was important to 
D7
    Come on here, and defend myself a little
    G
And take accountability

And I also wanted to say that,
C                                G
    To anybody out there who has ever supported me in any capacity
  D7
I really really appreciate you

Thank you

For what it's worth

I never had any bad intentions

But I do feel like shit.

(long pause)


[Chorus] (continue strumming pattern)
    G            G7
The toxic gossip train
       C                          D7 (x1)
You're driving down the tracks of misinformation
G            G7
    Toxic gossip train
             C C C C (on beat) D7 (pause)
You've got a one-way ticket to manipulation station
G                G7
    Toxic gossip train
    C (strum once per chord)    Cm (x1)
You tie me to the tracks and harass me for my past
G (x1)
Rumors look like facts
         E7 (x1)
When you don't mind the gaps
           C (x1)                D7 (x1)
I won't survive in the crash but hey,
(mute) 
I hope you had some fun

(long pause)


Actually you know
[Verse 12]
G
    I feel like maybe I should let you guys know something
G
    Um, it seems like, maybe you're confused about something
G
    I don't know
G (let it ring)
    Let me try to help, um
G
    Sometimes people make a mistake
G
    And it doesn't make them a horrible person
G
    Woah-oo-oh
C
    Sometimes people can make a mistake
            D7 (x1)
And they're still a good person

Crazy? I know
G
    Sometimes people can make a mistake
              G7
And you don't have to take that mistake, oh nooo
C
    And twist it up and grind it
C
    And add some lies to it
C
    And pulverise it
C
    And stab it with knifes
C                    C (mute)
    And ruin a life, and

Oh nooo

G
    Sometimes people can make a mistake
           G7
It doesn't mean you gotta send them hate

Oh nooo
C
    Sometimes people can make a mistake
            D7 (x1)
And you can kindly let them know

And help them to grow


[Outro] (strum once per chord)
C
Sometimes people
G
Make mistakes
G
Simply because
     E7
They made a mistake
            C                                 D7
And that mistake doesn't make them a terrible human

It just makes them
G
Human

But what do I know?

Fuck me right?