Where's The Bathroom Tabulatur von Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast

Db7        C7    
Where's... the... 
Fm
bathroom? Where's the bathroom?
. Fm     
I need to use the bathroom
.       Fm    
Tell me that you have a bathroom
.       G7             C      
In this hovel you call home

. Fm   
I don't know which was bumpier
.   Fm          
The plane ride or the taxi
.         Gm7            Fm        
All these freeways are a nightmare
.          C7               Fm        
Where's my purse? I need my comb!

D7 Db7 F#m        
By the way, you’re looking healthy
.      F#m     
And by "healthy" I mean "chunky"
.       F#m    
I don't mean that as an insult
.        Ab7           Db7         
I'm just stating it as fact

.                    F#m    
I see your eczema is back
Db7               F#m   
Are you using the lotion that I sent you?
.  Db7     
If you're not gonna use it
.      F#m      
I’ll return it to the store

Bm              A 
God, I give you everything
.   Ab7     
And still you just want 
Dbsus4              Db    
more more more more more

Eb7        D7    
Where's... the... 
Gm
bathroom? Where's the bathroom?
.   Gm    
You haven't told me where your bathroom is
“It's upstairs!”
.     A7               D         
Okay, fine, I need the walk


Well, your house is
Gm
dot-dot-dot charming
.           Gm   
Though some florals wouldn't kill you
.      Cm         Gm          
Do you ever get a maid here?
.       D7              Gm       
It's so nice to sit and talk

.     D7                    Gm       
Since when do you have a vendetta against vases?
.        D7   
When did you stop wearing makeup?
.       Gm   
Are you sure that you’re not gay?

Cm                    Bb    
I'd still love you if you were gay
.          A7 
It would explain this vase vendetta
.           D    
Please just tell me if you're gay!
“Again, I am not gay!”

Cm         Gm   
Don't interrupt me
.      D7              Gm   G7         
You're always with the talking
. Cm             Gm         
I just got off a plane
.         D7                 Gm   
Give me a moment to catch my breath

.        Cm            Gm       
It's the least you can do since you
D7              Gm       G7
Lived inside me for nine months
.       Cm            Gm       
And you still haven't told me
D7
Where The hell your stupid bathroom is
“Again, it’s upstairs!”
“Oh, right! Thank you.”

Cm  Gm  Adim  Gm   Cm  Gm  D7

.   Abm    
You call that a bathroom?
.           Abm    
That’s what passes for a bathroom?
.     Abm       
There were no bowls of rocks
.      Bb7        Eb7          
Or any decorative soaps

.         Abm     
You don't even have a bathmat
.   Abm      
Who doesn't have a bathmat?
.      Dbm            Abm           
If you need a bathmat I can...
.Eb7       Abm         
Oh did you hear?!

. Am     
A bishop in Wisconsin said something anti-Semitic
.       Am                    B7              E7   
So, the temple has decided to boycott cheddar cheese

.    Am   
Everyone asks how you’re doing
Am                           Dm              Am      
"How is widdle Becky? Is she still a bigshot lawyer?"
.      E7               Am         
And to that, I just say "Please..."

.         E7    
You won't get a husband this way
.        Am
At least you have your career
.            E7       
Oh wait, you threw out your career
.             Am       
To chase this California dream

. Dm                       C  
I wasted all that dough on Harvard and Yale
.   B7        E7       
For you to be living in a dump, in Nowhere, USA
.       E7   
Getting fatter by the minute on this greasy, goyish food

.           E7     
Just put my luggage in my room
.       E7     
Could I get a glass of water?
.       E7    
I'll be back in a moment
. E7     
I need to use the bathroom
.Am
Again!