Can't Handle This Uke tab by Bo Burnham

5 Chords used in the song: D, F#m/C#, Bm, G, A

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Tablature / Chords (Full Song)

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Artist: 
Album:  unknown
Difficulty: 
3.4
(Beginner)
Key: D, BmChords
[Intro]

D D F#m/C# F#m/C# Bm Bm G G x2

D D
Can I say my shit?
F#m/C# F#m/C#
New York, Can I say my shit?
Bm Bm
I've got lots of shit to say
G G
I've got lots of shit to say (Ooh)

(Spoken)
D D
I can't fit my hand inside a Pringle can. I have a huge amount of trouble
F#m/C# F#m/C#
Fitting my hand inside of a Pringle can, I can get my hand like four inches into the can
Bm Bm
But then I have to tilt the can into my mouth
Bm Bm
But then a bunch of crumbs have accumulated at the bottom of the can
G G
So they all go spilling onto my face



D D
What I'm trying to say is the diameter of Pringle cans is way too small
D D
I'll say it again
F#m/C# F#m/C#
The diameter of Pringle cans is way too small. Two radiuses of a Pringle can is way too small
Bm Bm
If you feel me, put your hands up Come on!
Bm Bm
If you feel me, put your hands up
G G
Look at all these hands that are way too big to fit inside of Pringle cans
D D
Your hands are too big to fit inside a Pringle can. Your hands are too big to fit inside a Pringle can
F#m/C# F#m/C#
You think you can, I know you can't, you think you can


(Spoken)

F#m/C# F#m/C#
Pringles!
Bm Bm
Listen to the people, I am sure ninety percent of the complaint letters you get
Bm Bm
Are about the width of your cans
G G
Just make them wider. I've overdone the Pringles thing, sorry



D D
I want to have a daughter
D D
Want to have a daughter


(Spoken)

F#m/C# F#m/C#
So I can finally have someone around the house who can fit their hands in the Pringle can
Bm Bm
Yes, I'm still on the Pringle cans thing! Yeah! I'll move on, alright?



G G
But that is priority número uno
D D
I don't go to the gym because I'm self-conscious about my body
F#m/C# F#m/C#
But I'm self-conscious about my body cause I don't go to the gym
Bm Bm
Irony can be so painful
G G
That's a Catch-22 (Ooh!) Let's do this!
D D
I went to Chipotle
D D
When at Chipotle
F#m/C# F#m/C#
Got myself a chicken burrito

(Spoken)
Bm Bm
I went down the line and I got all these ingredients and at the end of the line
G G
The guy tried to wrap the burrito, but half of the shit inside the burrito spilled out
G G
He still wrapped it
G G
I was like, dude you should have warned me!
D D
You're a burrito expert You should have told me halfway through!
F#m/C# F#m/C#
"Hey, man. You might be reaching maximum burrito capacity here"
F#m/C# F#m/C#
Do you think I want a messy burrito?
F#m/C# F#m/C#
No one wants a messy burrito
Bm Bm
The whole appeal of the burrito is that all of the ingredients are contained
Bm Bm
Within the confines of the tortilla
G G
I wouldn't have gotten half of the shit if I knew it wasn't gonna fit in the burrito! Alright? Look


D D
I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit
D D
I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit
F#m/C# F#m/C#
I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew it wouldn't fit
F#m/C# F#m/C#
I wouldn't have got - Half of it
Bm Bm
Like, I'm okay with small mistakes
G G
If you've got no more chicken, I'll take pork
A A D D
But I'll blow my dad before I eat a burrito with a fork
D D
I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit
F#m/C# F#m/C#
I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit
F#m/C# F#m/C#
I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew they wouldn't fit. Man, I wouldn't have got half of it, like
Bm Bm
Half of it, like
Bm Bm
Half of it, like
Bm Bm
Half of it, like
Bm Bm G G
Half of it right now
G G
I think it's time I
G G
Think it's time, I think that we break it down



[Short Interlude]

D D F#m/C# F#m/C# Bm Bm G G


(Spoken)

D D
I can sit here and pretend like my biggest problems are
F#m/C# F#m/C#
Pringle cans, and burritos
Bm Bm
The truth is, my biggest problem's you
Bm Bm
I want to please you
Bm Bm
But I want to stay true to myself
G G
I want to give you the night out that you deserve
G G
But I want to say what I think
G G
And not care what you think about it


D D
Part of me loves you
D D
Part of me hates you
F#m/C# F#m/C#
Part of me needs you
F#m/C# F#m/C#
Part of me fears you
Bm Bm
And I don't think that I can handle this right now
Bm Bm G G
Handle this right now
G G
I don't think that I can handle this right now
D D
I don't think that I can handle this right now
D D
I don't think that I can handle this right now
F#m/C# F#m/C#
I don't think that I can handle this right now
F#m/C# F#m/C#
Look at them, they're just staring at me
Bm Bm G G
Like, "come and watch the skinny kid with a steadily declining mental health
G G
And laugh as he attempts
A A D D
To give you what he cannot give himself


D D
I don't think that I can handle this right now
D D
I don't think that I can handle this right now
F#m/C# F#m/C#
They don't even know the half of this right now
F#m/C# F#m/C#
They don't even know the half of it
Bm Bm
But I know I'm not a doctor
G G
I'm a pussy, I put on a silly show
A A
So I should probably just shut up and do my job
D D
So here I go


D D
I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit
F#m/C# F#m/C#
I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit
F#m/C# F#m/C#
I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew they wouldn't fit
F#m/C# F#m/C#
I wouldn't have got half
Bm Bm
You can tell them anything if
Bm Bm G G
You just make it funny, make it rhyme
G G
And if they still don't understand you
G G D D
Then you run it one more time


D D
I don't think that I can handle this right now (Haa!)
F#m/C# F#m/C#
Handle this right (Hoo!)
F#m/C# F#m/C#
Handle this right
Bm Bm
You don't even know the half of this right now
Bm Bm
Right now (Haa!)
G G
Handle this right now
G G
Handle this right
G G D D
Handle this right now



N.C
Thank you, good night!
N.C
I hope you're happy

Uke tab by , 12 Jul 2021

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