High As F#%k taby ukulele według Jon Lajoie (Chwyty barytonu)

E  E  B  Dm  B  A  B  E  B
E                                     B           Dm
Have you ever watched the sun go down?
                                          B
And you're thinking bout' the world spinning round
A                           B                   E    B
Have you ever been high as fuck?

E                                B                          Dm
You're in the bathroom mirror talking to yourself
                                B
And your dog's looking at you like you need help
A                           B           E     B
Have you ever been high as fuck?

E                                        B
And then you feel your heart pumping really fast 
Dm                                           B
And you're convinced that you're gonna have a heart attack
A    B                 E      B
Have you ever been high as fuck?

E B
You close your eyes and you're on a chicken farm
Dm                    B
The only problem's that the chickens have human arms
A          B        E  B
You say "that's fucked up, why do the chickens have human arms?"

E B
You need snacks so you walk to the corner store
Dm      B
But you're scared because you think that they will know you're high
A          B    E  B
So you walk around the block to buy some time

E                        B
You finally decide to go into the store 
Dm           B
But you're so high you don't know why you're there anymore
ABE       B
So you just buy a pack of gum and get the hell out of there

Dm         B           E    B
You're walking home and you're mouth is dry

      Dm
You should have bought some juice and snacks 
B           E
But you were too high

Dm        B         E     B
Thinking 'bout ketchup chips
Dm       B      E
And for some reason the game Battleship

E
And you start thinking about how fun it was to play games
E
like battleship when you were a kid 
E
and how, as we get older we forget how to play and just to enjoy ourselves
E
so you say "Guess What? I'm gonna make up a game right now
E
and it involves a baseball bat and a porcupine 
E
and I'm gonna try to kill a porcupine with a baseball bat
E
but then you don't know where to find a porcupine so 
E
you do a search on ebay but people don't sell porcupines on the internet
EBm           B
and you say "You know what world? You've got me cornered again!"

I'm gonna roll another joint

E     B  Dm
You ever eat a whole bag of crackers that were so old
 B               A
That they weren't crispy anymore?
B      E
Have you ever been high... as fuck?